Monday, March 31, 2014

Top 10 Weird Mental Disorders

According to the World Health Organization, more than 450 million people worldwide had a mental health problem in 2001. When we talk of mental disorders, we think about phobias, OCD, schizophrenia, and so on and so forth.

However, there are a few other disorders that you may have never heard about and these are actually quite weird in nature. In fact, you will probably be shocked to know that such behaviors exist and are also classified as mental disorders. 

Let's take a look at some of the weirdest mental disorders right here.


Alice-in-Wonderland Syndrome

If you loved the book, you will love this disorder? You guessed it right. This one is named after the famous novel written by Lewis Carroll. Also known as Todd's syndrome, people with this mental health condition believe that the shape and size of their body has been altered.

The condition is often diagnosed in childhood and most children grow out of it in their teens. Sufferers of this condition think that people or animals are smaller than they are in reality. They may also think that certain parts of their body are not in proportion to the other parts. Isn't this exactly how Alice used to feel in the book?

The Walking Corpse Syndrome

Do you believe that you are dead or your body is decomposing?

If you like zombie movies and wish you could be one too, wish for this strange mental disorder. Cotard's Delusion, nicknamed as the Walking Corpse Syndrome, is a rare disorder in which a person believes that he or she does not exist. The individual believes that he is actually dead.

The disorder was first described by Jules Cotard in 1880 as ‘délire des negations’ or negative deliriums. People with this disorder have a distorted reality and truly believe that they are dead. They may report that their blood or the organs of their body have been removed or that they are decomposing. Now, that makes for an interesting movie on the walking dead, don't you think?

Lycanthropy

If you like werewolves, this is the one you want. This strange psychological disorder will turn you into a werewolf! Or at least that is what you think when you have this disorder. People with lycanthropy believe that they can turn themselves into wolves whenever they want to. In fact, they often believe that they are wolves.

If you don't like wolves, you can turn into any other animal of your choice. People may think that they are an elephant, leopard, snake, or any other animal. They may go and take a walk in the woods as the animal of their choice. They feel completely safe and at home in the forest and insist that this is where they belong and not in society. 



Capgras Delusion

Would you recognize your mother if she walked into the room right now? Probably yes. However, imagine that your mother just walks into the room and you look at her only to find that this is not your mother. You just wonder who this woman is. This is what Capgras Delusion is is all about. 

People suffering from the disorder believe that their parents, or their spouse, or their friend has been replaced by an impostor. So, you think this is not my mother but an impostor trying to harm you!

The strange part about this disorder is that sometimes the person is able to recognize everyone else except that one person who is really close to him or her. So, you may recognize your parents and your children but not your spouse. 

Scientists believe that this disorder occurs because of a breakdown of normal face perception.So, the individual is just not able to recognize a familiar person. You may try to convince them that what they are thinking is wrong, but they won't believe you.

Fregoli Delusion

Quite similar to Capgras delusion, people with this strange mental disorder believe that different people are actually only just one person. Referred to as the delusion of doubles, sufferers of this condition usually believe that they are being persecuted by one single person who keeps on changing his or her disguise and appearing as a different person each time.

So, a person may believe that he is being followed by a single person, who keeps on taking the form of someone he knows personally. He may see a friend, a colleague, a shopkeeper, all different people. However, he thinks that all these three people are actually one single individual who wants to harm him.

It is believed that Fregoli delusion occurs due to a brain lesion. Just like Capgras Delusion, this one is also believed to be a breakdown of normal face perception.

Stendhal Syndrome


So, do you like being surrounded by beautiful pieces of art? Do you feel so overwhelmed by beautiful pieces of art that you feel dizzy and your heart begins to beat rapidly? If yes, then you may just have the Stendhal syndrome.

This bizarre psychological disorder is named after the 19th century French author, Stendhal. Apparently, Stendhal (real name: Henri-Marie Beyle) was so overwhelmed on his trip to Florence in 1817 that he experienced symptoms such as palpitations and faintness.

In 1979, Italian psychiatrist Graziella Magherini observed more than 100 cases of tourists visiting the beautiful city of Florence and experiencing dizziness and fainting while enjoying Florentine art. This is when the syndrome was named as Stendhal syndrome.


Autophagia

Feel like eating yourself up? You may just have autophagia. Although not an official mental disorder, autophagia involves biting or chewing one's body parts. An individual with this condition feels a sense of tension followed by an impulse to perform the act. The person feels a sense of pleasure or gratification while committing the act and does not at all regret harming himself. So, are you getting an urge to chew up your hands, or your legs?
 
Exploding Head Syndrome

It is fun being at a heavy metal rock concert. However, would you like to hear extremely loud noises right inside your head? You will probably not enjoy that. Patients with exploding head syndrome have auditory hallucinations and hear loud noises in their head. These sounds can be in the form of bombs exploding, guns being fired, or cymbals crashing together.

The sound is quite loud but not painful. These sounds are usually experienced at the onset of sleep or within the first one to two hours of falling asleep. Sounds may be accompanied by bright flashes and the person may experience fear and anxiety just before the attack happens.

Stockholm Syndrome

Kidnapping is a crime and a traumatic experience. People who are kept as hostages end up having nightmares forever and hate their kidnappers with all their hearts. 

However, imagine that someone gets kidnapped, is made to go through all forms of torture, and yet he defends his abductor with all his heart. Do you find this weird? Referred to as capture bonding, the victim in such cases feels sympathetic towards her captors without recognizing the danger she is in.

The disorder is named after a bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden, where several bank employees were taken as hostages. The bank employees actually became emotionally attached to their captors and even defended them after being freed after a six-day ordeal.

There is also an opposite form of Stockholm syndrome. This is the Lima syndrome, where the abductor develops sympathy for his hostages.


Munchausen Syndrome

Most of us have used fake illnesses as an excuse to get out of school or office work. Some of us have faked illnesses to get some attention or sympathy from others, especially our loved ones. However, we usually don't go to the extent of using dangerous measures to do this. This is what Munchausen syndrome is all about.

Munchausen syndrome is a psychiatric factitious disorder in which individuals feign illness or trauma to gain attention and sympathy. These people have a history of hospitalization and this is why it is often referred to as hospital addiction syndrome. People with this disorder often have good knowledge about medicine and medical practices and know exactly what to do to gain some attention from doctors and nurses. 

So, what do you think about these weird psychological disorders? Watch out for people around you who may have one of these strange disorders. They need help. Make sure to help them get proper professional healthcare treatment.

Read more Articles:

How to be Happy Always

How to Control your Anger

How to Develop your Intuition

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© Copyright 2014, Roohi Khan

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Do You Have Low Self-Confidence?



Are you overly sensitive to criticism? Do you put up a false front to impress others? Do you underestimate your abilities and consider yourself as worthless? If yes, then it is quite possible that you are suffering from low self-confidence.

Why is Self-Confidence So Important?

If you want to turn your dreams into reality, you need self-confidence. A healthy self-confidence is important for achieving success in life. It helps you achieve goals, take risks, lead a happy and satisfied life, and become a better human being in general.

What is a Healthy Self-Confidence?

Oxford Dictionary defines self-confidence as "trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment." An individual with a healthy self-confidence tries out new things. They take important decisions and accept responsibility for the consequences. They may have a deep faith in their abilities and skills, but they also accept criticism.

Their never-say-die attitude helps them bounce back from failures quickly. Disapproval of others does not stop them from doing what they know is right.

What Are the Signs of Low Self-Confidence?

Low self-confidence can appear in various ways in different individuals.  However, all of these stem from one basic thought or feeling, that is, lack of faith in one's abilities. People with low self-confidence think that they don't have the qualities required to succeed in this world.

They think they are worthless. They may constantly say bad things about themselves and avoid getting into a task that may prove that they are worthless. They fear that their friends may find about their lack of abilities and make fun of them. So, they withdraw socially.

Even the slightest criticism upsets them terribly. They will also use this criticism to convince themselves that they were right all along, that is, they are indeed worthless.

Individuals with low self-confidence often prefer sticking to the familiar. Their perfectionist standards are often easily noticeable by people living with them. 

The individual is always looking for ways to please others. They are constantly seeking approval from parents and authority figures. Achieving good results in a task is not enough without the praise and admiration of others.

Low self-confidence may also be expressed in the form of excessive anger. They may try to hurt others physically or emotionally. Sudden outbursts of anger are quite commonly seen in these individuals.

People with low self-confidence are afraid of failures and their behavior is controlled by anxiety and fear. While someone with a healthy self-confidence will face their fears and go ahead with the task, those with a low self-esteem will back off and allow their fears to control their lives.

Can Low Self-Confidence Ruin My Life?

If you are suffering from low self-confidence, it is already destroying your life. It will have an impact on each and every aspect of your life. It will prevent you from achieving success in career. It will prevent you from forming successful relationships. It will also have an effect on your physical and emotional health. So, if you want to improve your self-confidence, you should take a step right now. 

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Friday, June 21, 2013

How to be Happy Always

While your circumstances play an important role in how you feel at a given moment, there is something that you really need to accept. Circumstances are not the only factor that determine how happy you feel.

Your own personality, your thoughts and your behavior as well have a lot to do with how happy you are. Now, there is not much that you can do about your circumstances. However, a lot can be done with your thoughts and attitude. You work on your thoughts. You change your attitude and you will reach that state of happiness that you so long for.

But can you be happy always? Maybe not. If you are always happy, it will become boring! Yes, indeed. However, a lot can be done to stay happy for the most part of your day.

The first thing that you should do is ask yourself why you feel so unhappy. This is a very important question, especially if you are constantly feeling discontented and dissatisfied. Once you find the answer, you get to the root cause. You work on the root cause and you are all set to move towards a path of happiness and contentment.

Click the link below and read more about things that cause unhappiness and how you can stay happy always.

Why Am I Not Happy With Myself - Causes of Unhappiness


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Benefits of Spirituality


Do You Have Low Self-Confidence 


How to Control Your Anger 


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© Copyright Roohi Khan, 2013. All Rights Reserved.


Thursday, May 2, 2013

How to control your anger

Anger can be a very destructive emotion. It can destroy your relationships, your career and your social life. A wrong word said in anger can make you lose that one person you really loved or ruin that one opportunity that will probably never come back again.

Still, anger is there. What should one do about it? Is it wrong to be angry? How can one control anger? Is it possible to turn your anger into something positive?

These and similar questions always keep arising in one's mind. This is especially true for someone who has a real problem with anger management.

Keep reading this article about anger, its causes, and how to control it, by clicking on the below link:

Why am I so angry all the time?


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Thursday, October 1, 2009

Feeling Grateful For The Blessings In Your Life

Today is one of those days that I have been feeling amazingly grateful to God and the Universe for all my blessings. And it’s not because things are going just “perfectly well” in my life (as usually people call it). In fact, life has been quite tough lately. But amazingly, I feel grateful and I feel that things are fine. I guess this feeling in itself is a blessing.

We all have so often read about how being spiritual requires one to feel grateful for what we have rather than be resentful of what we don’t have. It’s easier said than done. I know. It’s easy to feel grateful when life is all peachy. But when life is tough, gratefulness is one thing which is so far away from your mind. So, is it OK to feel resentful and not feel grateful? Perhaps not.

Because the more resentful we feel, the further we wander away from gratefulness and from our spiritual self. We don’t want to do that. Resentment is fine as long as we use it for our own advantage and get positive things out of it. We should not allow it to take us over. Because once it does take us over, we become bitter and we hate everything around us. We hate our self. We hate our loved ones. And we hate God. But how do we feel grateful when the going gets tough?

Many spiritual teachers say that by focusing on the good things in life and thanking the Universe for them can help us feel grateful. You just need to keep repeating these thank you statements to yourself. This may work for some. This may work some times. But what to do when it doesn’t work?

I don’t often consciously say thank you to God for all my blessings. But when I do think about the tough times I have had in the past and the miraculous strength and miraculous help that I received, I am just amazed. People I hadn’t met for years showing up to solve a problem. Almost lost my life and yet survived. Left with almost no money and no physical strength to do a job and yet from nowhere blessed with an opportunity to earn and have a career working from home. And I could go on and on here.

Just thinking about these miraculous occurrences is enough to bring tears in my eyes. And I actually cry. The only difference is that they are tears of joys. And gratefulness just surrounds me. I am grateful to God. And I just can’t stop thanking God for all that. And once I stop crying, I realize that I will be OK. Because God has always been there helping me out, saving me, protecting me, guiding me, and taking care of me.

What I am trying to say is that feeling grateful is not something that can be achieved by just saying a few statements to yourself. Feeling grateful is a feeling. Feel it. Thinking about the past helps me feel grateful. Perhaps there is something else that makes you feel grateful. It could be the smile on the face of your children. It could be the laughter of your life partner. It could be just the comfort of your house.

It could be anything. Just feel it. Feel grateful for it. Let the feeling surround you. And then thank God, thank the Universe for it. You will be amazed at how wonderful the feeling of being grateful is. You will be surprised at the strength and the calmness that descends over you once you have thanked God.

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Copyright © Roohi Khan - 2009

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

What Meditation Can Do For You

For centuries, meditation has been practiced by yogis and monks. Its healing values have impressed many over the years. And it has been acclaimed as one of the most beneficial practices for not only spiritual growth, but also for physical, emotional, and mental growth. Spiritual growth and healing was considered to be the objective of meditation earlier on. But now meditation is being suggested for healing of the body as well as of the mind. So, what can meditation do for us?

In my opinion, meditation is definitely one of the key practices for spiritual growth and enrichment. But its advantages go much beyond that. And what’s more, I don’t think that there is any one way to meditate. The way meditation is practiced depends on the individual. As long as the idea is to spend some quiet, relaxing time with yourself and your thoughts, it doesn’t matter how it is practiced.

Coming back to what meditation can do for you; here are some of the benefits that an individual can expect from the regular practice of meditation:

* Meditation heals the mind, body, and spirit

Healing is one of the benefits that one can expect from meditation. Meditation provides the much needed rest to the mind. It helps quiet the mind by giving it a break from the troubling thoughts that constantly plague the human mind. This way it provides an opportunity for the mind to heal.

The action of deep and relaxed breathing provides more oxygen to the body and brain and helps heal the imbalances in the body. And of course, meditation is healing to the spirit. A neglected, often, battered spirit gets the much needed attention that is required for the growth of a human being.

* Meditation helps one to get in touch with the inner voice

One of the main objectives of spirituality is to connect with the inner voice, to be able to listen to the inner voice, and to truly understand what an individual really wants. This is where meditation plays a very important role.

When we meditate, we are able hear this very low and quiet voice of our inner being. We are able to hear this inner voice over the loud noises of the outside world and our own thoughts. Meditation helps quiet these loud noises and we are able to hear our inner voice. The voice, which should be and is, our true guide in this whole wide world.

* Meditation improves our decision-making abilities

Each and every day and each waking moment, we are constantly making decisions. Whether small or big, making decisions can sometimes become overwhelming for an individual. There are occasions when the constant pressure and stress can force us make not so good decisions. In fact, it can force us to make bad decisions, which we might regret later.

Meditation reduces the effects of these daily pressures. It clears the mind. It provides renewed energy in the body and mind. It improves our analytical abilities, which are so crucial in decision-making.

* Meditation helps us get rid of fears, doubts, and worries

Fears, doubts, and worries can be a big obstacle in the path of individual growth and success. It can stop an individual from going after his/her dreams. It can prevent an individual from treading beyond the usual path. It can come in the way of an individual realizing and going after his/her life’s purpose. Meditation helps in calming the mind. It helps in accepting one’s fears and worries. It helps us in managing them and overcoming them. When fears and worries are handled effectively, we are all set to move towards our life’s goals and objectives.

* Meditation improves our focus and our memory

If the mind is calm and collected, it is free from distractions. It is better able to focus on the present moment. It is better able to perform the task at hand. Meditation does this for us. It improves our focus. It keeps the mind free from distractions. Better focus means awareness of the present moment and awareness of the actions and events of the present. If our focus is better, memory will be better. We will remember events and actions much more clearly and for a much longer time.

* Meditation makes you happier

Anger, fear, sadness, or being upset are emotions which are much too familiar to all of us. When they get out of control, they often cause a feeling of hopelessness and helplessness. Meditation helps us understand our emotions. It helps us understand the reason why we react the way we do.

Better understanding of emotions means more control over the way we feel generally or in a particular situation. It helps us effectively manage the way we react to another individual or to a situation. We understand that we are responsible for our emotions and reactions. Happiness as such is, therefore, more likely.

* Meditation helps achieve our goals

If we are calm, we can see our goals much clearly. How we can get there is also something which is clearer to us. Meditation can help us do this. The time that we spend alone with our thoughts helps realize what our goals are, how to divide our goals into smaller goals, and how to proceed in a step-by-step fashion to achieve these smaller goals one by one. This is what some quiet time with ourselves can do for us.

* Meditation helps in controlling chronic diseases, chronic pain, and psychological disorders

Dealing with chronic pain and chronic diseases becomes easier with meditation. The practice of regular meditation lowers the breathing rate, controls the blood pressure and heart rate, and provides an effective way to reduce chronic pain.

Chronic pain is often aggravated by the frustration and irritation they cause an individual. But if the individual accepts these feelings of irritation and frustration, he/she is much more in control. Meditation provides benefits for asthma patients by not only making breathing easier, but also controlling the stress level of an individual.

Not only this, meditation is also beneficial to individuals who suffer from anxiety and mood disorders as it calms them down and helps them be in more control of their emotions.

These are only a few benefits that one can expect from meditation. It has been widely accepted now that the spirit is not the only aspect of the individual that is benefited by the regular practice of meditation. It is equally advantageous to the mind and the body. It doesn’t matter how you practice meditation. What matters is that you spend some time alone with your thoughts and emotions each day.

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Copyright © Roohi Khan - 2009

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Develop Your Intuition: What You Should Keep In Mind

Many successful people acknowledge the fact that their intuition has always been a guiding force in helping them achieve success. But how does intuition work? Is it that only successful people have intuition? Or is it that people who are intuitive are the ones who succeed? Or is it that people who are able to improve and use their intuition are the ones who succeed? What should we keep in mind if we want to develop intuition?

I think everyone has the power of intuition. But intuition seems to come easily to some people and not to others. Why? The difference is that some of us are able to recognize, understand, and trust our intuition and some of us are not able to do this. Some of us have enough courage to follow the guidance of our intuition whereas some others don’t have it in us. Some of us want more out of life and are willing to go out and try a road not usually traveled whereas some prefer the security and status quo of our present lives. Some of us are able to use our fears to our advantage whereas others, unable to overcome it, remain confined by them.

Developing intuition is a process and it’s not as easy or as difficult as many of us think. But there are certain things that we need to keep in mind, if we want to develop our intuition. Here are a few things that can help you if you want to develop your intuition:

* You need time and patience

If you want to develop your intuition, you need to spend some time doing it and you need patience to develop it. It is not for someone who wants and expects to get quick results. Even if you do get some good results quickly it may either be because the groundwork had already been done or because the results are just a fluke. And if you don’t get quick results, don’t lose heart; continue working to develop your intuition.

* You need to meditate

You may call it meditation. Or you may call it spending some quiet time with yourself. But if you want to develop your intuition, meditation is a wonderful exercise to help you do that. So, spend about 30 minutes of quiet time with yourself. The idea of meditation is to feel completely at peace and be completely calm. Once you are calm and focused, you can introduce an intention such as “I want to be intuitive” or a question such as “What should I do to develop my intuition?” Spend about 5 minutes repeating this intention or question.

* You need to learn about how you feel different emotions

If you want to develop your intuition, you need to understand your emotions. For the inexperienced, intuitive feelings can often be confused with other emotions. It is therefore, very important that you begin by understanding how you and your body feels when you are scared, angry, happy, worried etc. An intuitive feeling is what is called gut feeling by most of us. Intuition feels differently. But if we don’t know how our other emotions feel to us, we will not always know how intuition feels to us.

* You need to understand your beliefs and how you think

Our emotions and our impressions are often based on personal beliefs and can often come in the way of developing intuition. These beliefs and prejudices are often so deeply ingrained within our minds that we can often misunderstand the feelings that arise from them and consider them as intuition. But the truth is that this feeling is based on your deeply-ingrained beliefs. So, before you attempt to develop your intuition, try and learn about your personal beliefs and prejudices. They can be confused as intuition and can interfere in the process to develop your intuition.

* You need to maintain an intuition journal

It is important that you get in the habit of maintaining an intuition journal while you are trying to develop your intuition. Maintain a journal in which you can write your hunches, insights, or your gut feelings about a person or a situation. You can look back at them at a later point and see whether they were correct. If you were wrong, then it was probably not intuition. If you were correct, try and see what role your intuition played in this. Try to analyze and find out where this feeling came from. Was it just good judgment? This exercise will help you understand the difference between your logical thoughts and your intuitive feelings.

* You need to practice intuition for yourself

One thing which often people forget while trying to develop intuition is that they are doing it for themselves and not for someone else. Some people want to be intuitive because they want to impress others. This is not what your intuition is for. Your intuition is for helping you and not for showing off to others. Your intuition will not help you much if it is being used for some frivolous purposes. So, make sure that you are clear about your purpose and you don’t use your skills to show off to others.

* You need to develop your knowledge and information

Intuition will not work for you if you don’t have the required knowledge and information about a particular area. If you have no knowledge about developing software for your business, you cannot develop it through intuition. What you need to do here is learn about things that you should look for while choosing a software professional, where you can find one, how much money you will need to spend, etc. Once you have gathered all the information and learnt enough to be able to hire a software professional, intuition can help you. It can help you choose someone you can trust or choose one among equally good candidates. So, learn about your particular situation before using your intuitive abilities in that area.


* You need to follow your intuition with actions

So, you are working at developing your intuition. And you even get some brilliant ideas with its help. But if you don’t follow them up with the correct actions, you will soon lose whatever intuitive skills you have picked up. So, when your intuition says that you should change your career, trust it. Ask more questions about how and why you should change your career. Follow the guidance of your intuition. Make sure to take action when you are working to develop your intuition.

In the road to success, intuition can play a very important role. But make sure that you put in enough work into the process to develop your intuition. This can help you in achieving your goals and get what you want in your life. Once you begin to recognize, trust, and follow your intuitions with the correct actions, there is no one on this earth that can stop you from turning your dreams into reality.

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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Karma and Spirituality

We often use the word Karma in our every day language. It means various things to different people. For some people, Karma is something that one has no control over. For others, it is simply bad fortune or fate. And then there are others who consider Karma as the law of cause and effect. I guess everyone has their own theory about Karma. Different people have a different interpretation. Different religions have different views. People from different countries have different opinions. But what exactly is Karma?

I will not claim that I know a lot about the concept of Karma as has been accepted by different religions. But I do know one thing. All religions speak about Karma in some form or the other. In my opinion, Karma is an important aspect of leading a spiritual life. This is my interpretation of Karma. Most of it has been influenced by what I have read over the years. And what I have derived is what I felt will help me be more spiritual and more at peace.

* Karma is intention

Karma comes from the intention that we have. Each thought that we have, each word that we speak, and each action that we take stems from an intention. If our intentions are bad, the chances are that the effects will be bad.

So, if we are distributing food to the poor, but our intention is to become popular by doing this act, the intention is bad and the Karma we generate is bad. Such actions will only generate unhappiness, distress, and bad health for us. But if our intention is actually to help out the poor by providing food for them, then our intention is good and our Karma is good. A good intention will lead to happiness, peace, and good health.

One of the most important aspects of spirituality is intentions. When we lead a spiritual life, we learn to identify our intentions, understand them, modify them, and use it for the goodness of the whole world. This is what Karma is. Good intentions.

* Karma is awareness

But what if we are unaware of our real intentions? Is our Karma affected in such a situation? If we make a mistake once and learn from it, we still have to face the consequences. But since we have learnt from our mistake, we can prevent the bad consequences in future. But if we keep making the same mistake again and again, the consequences will go from bad to worse.

Similarly, if our intentions behind a particular action are not good, but we are not aware of it, the Karma generated will be bad. But we can reduce the effects or nullify its effects by becoming aware of our intention. But if we keep acting the same way with the same intentions, we increase the bad Karma that we generate. So, just because we are ignorant doesn’t mean that we are above Karma.

Spirituality helps us become aware of our intentions. When we understand our intentions, we are no more the ignorant fools that we have always been.

* Karma is taking responsibility for your actions

The cause and effect philosophy of Karma helps us take responsibility for our thoughts, words, and actions. If we have bad thoughts, we have bad Karma. We should take responsibility for thinking inappropriately. If we say words that hurt others, we have bad Karma. We should take responsibility for speaking inappropriately. If we act wrongly, we have bad Karma. We should take responsibility for our actions.

So, Karma basically helps us take more responsibility. Instead of pointing the finger towards the outside, Karma tells us that we should actually look inside. Just because someone else has hurt us, an act of revenge is not justified. Just like the other person is responsible for his/her actions, we are responsible for ours.

This is where leading a spiritual life really helps us. Spirituality helps us take more responsibility for our emotions, our spoken words, and our actions. When we take responsibility for our feelings, words, and acts, it becomes much easier for us to manage them, manage our life, and be at peace.

* Karma is free will

Often, people have equated Karma with “no free will”. Again, I don’t know how much of it is true. But for me Karma is free will. Karma is not just a result of our past actions. It is also the result of our present actions. And all our accumulated bad Karma from the past can actually be gone with one powerful act done with the best of intentions.

So, when you act with good intentions in the present, your Karma accumulated from the past may not really stop you from getting good results in the present. Your present intention and action are very powerful tools in your hands. One blessing from a person-in-need can actually wash a lot of it away.

Spirituality teaches us how to handle the present situation in the best possible way. It helps us stay focused on the task at hand. It keeps us be aware of our motives. It helps us avoid any distractions. And this is how leading a spiritual life takes us towards a better and a more wholesome life.

* Karma is action without expectation
The core of Karma is intention. The core of Karma is acting without expecting anything. So, when we go out to help someone, we should do it without expecting anything in return. We should not expect that someday we will need a favor and this individual will return it. Again our intention here is getting something and not helping someone.

So, don’t choose to help only those people who you think can help you in the future. Help everyone, whether friend or foe with the intention of helping and without expecting anything.

Spirituality helps us be unselfish. Karma is unselfishness and leading a spiritual life will make us think and act in this way. If we have a talent, we should choose to help everyone with it and not choose those we want to help. This is what spirituality does for us.

As I mentioned, this is my understanding of Karma. In no way do I intend to go against the tenets of Karma as propounded by different religions. I have just taken this word and this concept to have a more spiritual way of thinking and living. And with the best of intentions, I hope that they can also help someone else.

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Monday, June 1, 2009

Build Self-Confidence - Handling a Stressful Situation

Self-confidence is very important to achieve success in life. Sometimes and in some situations we tend to feel very low in self-confidence. Doubts, fears, and worries which may seem to appear suddenly in a particular situation can lead to sub-standard performance which in turn leads to failure.

No one likes to fail. But an individual, who is already low in self-confidence, will react more negatively to failure. In such a situation, failure can really shatter our self-confidence. So, what should we do when we have doubts about our abilities to handle a situation or overcome a negative situation? How can we build our self-confidence in such a situation?

Some of these tips will undoubtedly help to build self-confidence in a stressful situation:

* Deep breathing

In a stressful situation, deep breathing can really help build self-confidence. When we are stressed out or under pressure, our breathing tends to get heavier and quicker. If we continue to breathe abnormally, we can even get a panic attack in a stressful situation. Breathing deeply tends to calm us down and helps us see things much clearly.

So, if you are in a stressful situation and need to build your self-confidence, just practice some deep breathing. Sit straight, close your eyes, and take slow and deep breaths. Within a few seconds, you will begin to feel calm and in much more control of the situation. Continue to practice deep breathing until you feel calm and can feel the energy and zest required to handle the situation in an effective manner.

* Visualize yourself handling the situation

A new and unfamiliar situation does tend to make us feel low in self-confidence. Visualization is a great exercise that can help us practice handling the situation and build self-confidence. So, after you begin to feel calm with the help of deep breathing, just visualize yourself going into that situation and dealing with it.

So, if your situation involves confronting your boss about that much deserved raise, visualize yourself talking to your boss about why you deserve a raise. It’s a great way to practice exactly what you want to say and how you want to sell yourself so that you can achieve your objective. Visualization not only builds self-confidence, but it also helps you practice various ways to handle a situation and choose the best way to get the best results.

* Use positive self-talk

Negative thinking in a stressful situation can only do damage to your efforts to build self-confidence. Positive self-talk can keep those nagging doubts and negative thinking at bay. Once you have visualized yourself handling the situation, you are actually quite prepared to handle it. So, there isn’t any valid reason for doubting your abilities.

But to further build your self-confidence in a stressful situation, have a practical and valid positive answer for every negative thought that comes into your mind. So, if you are scared that you might just forget the words while giving a lecture to 500 people, you should have a positive answer that conveys the message that you thoroughly remember your speech and in the event that you do forget your words, you will know how to handle the situation such as having a written transcript of the speech.

* Surround yourself with positive and helpful people
Surrounding yourself with positive people in a stressful situation can really build self-confidence. In situations where you doubt your abilities, such people can really act as a positive influence. They can help you replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. They can help refute all your claims of how you don’t have what it takes.

So, if you want to build self-confidence in a stressful situation, be among such people. Often, when we are low in self-confidence, we tend to avoid being with people. This is not a good idea, especially if we have doubts about our abilities. Positive people can help you see the truth for what it is. They can help allay your fears and doubts and show you how meaningless and unfounded they are. They can help you feel safe and at the same time help you realize that even if you do fail or don’t perform well, they will still be there helping and supporting you.

While heading into any stressful situation, building your self-confidence can really help. If you still have too many doubts about your abilities, it is quite possible that there are deeper issues involved here.

However, a little fear and a little stress is not a bad thing. A little bit of these things helps us be fully prepared and prevents us from being over-confident. We might very well surprise ourselves and our friends with the more than prefect way we handle the situation. So, the next time you are faced with a situation where you feel stressed out, try these tips to build self-confidence.

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